


the book is aching for the tree

by lookatallthemoresigive



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Gen, Minor Cat/Ellie, Not Canon Compliant, Vignette, an ellie coming out fic?? groundbreaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookatallthemoresigive/pseuds/lookatallthemoresigive
Summary: Ellie is sixteen when Joel finds her in Shimmer’s stall, obscured by hay and horse. Her mouth is on Cat’s and a hand is under her shirt.
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	the book is aching for the tree

Ellie is sixteen when Joel finds her in Shimmer’s stall, obscured by hay and horse. Her mouth is on Cat’s and a hand is under her shirt. Cat bolts, rabbit-ear pink.

“Ellie,” Joel starts.

She shoulders past him.

* * *

Ellie makes it home first and holes up in the garage. She closes her eyes and ignores the insistent knocking on the door.

In her mind she sees the framed photo of Sarah sitting in the upstairs hallway and wonders if this is just another way she doesn’t measure up.

* * *

Joel tries sicking both Tommy and Maria on her, then orchestrating run-ins in town that she narrowly dodges until he eventually bribes the head of scheduling to get them on the same patrol.

Ellie marches into the stable and swings onto Shimmer, taking off before Joel can even saddle up. Shimmer is not pleased about the rushed job, but she whispers promises of sugar cubes as they gallop onward.

Eventually, though, Joel catches up.

It’s just the two of them, not a single Infected on the horizon. Ellie wishes for a whole swarm of them, or hunters, whatever it takes to escape the impending conversation.

(Three years later, she will regret this wish.)

"Look, Ellie…" Joel says, gathering his words.

Ellie thinks about the countless rooms of dead and deadened they've taken down together, thinks about carefully, quickly killing something before it is even aware of you, has the chance to hurt you.

 _(He took me across half the country,_ she had written in her journal. The words are surrounded by half-formed and scribbled-out sketches of Joel and hay barrels. _He can't have done all that just to_ —)

"Does she like action movies?" Joel asks, his accent thicker than usual.

"What?"

"Cat. Would she be interested in watching a movie with us? Friday night?"

"I'll ask her," Ellie says, against the lump forming in her throat. She turns Shimmer and sights down the rifle to hide her face, but Joel probably sees right through her. He usually does.

* * *

"Okay, there's no way he dodged all of those bullets," Ellie says.

"Like he could really take on twenty guys in the first place," Cat says.

"It's possible, the low visibility in the sauna would help," Joel muses.

"Yeah, but going in guns blazing with only a pistol is how you end up fucking dead," Ellie says. "I would've made a Molotov—"

"With what?" Cat exclaims.

"There were a bunch of spa towels lying around—"

"And Detective Thompson had that flask."

"Yes exactly, thank you, Joel! He's a smoker too so he already has a lighter. Bam! Take out at least half of them."

"Well, one thing's for sure, Infected are a lot smarter than 80s Russian movie villains," Cat says.

"How would they have known the _Shark Narc_ is one cold-blooded killer?" Ellie says, laughing before she's even finished her sentence.

Joel and Cat look at each other and roll their eyes fondly.

"Okay, this was, educational," Cat says, letting go of Ellie's hand underneath the blanket and standing up. "but I've gotta head home. I got patrol bright and early tomorrow. Thanks for having me over, Joel."

"Anytime," Joel says. "We're watching Deadly Prey next Tuesday."

"Fuck yeah! It's so bad, but the explosions are so good," Ellie says as she walks Cat out.

"I'll take your word for it," Cat says, lingering at the door. They smile at each other. Ellie, bold, gives her a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek, Joel watching.

After waving Cat off, she closes the door with a thud. They stand in silence for a minute.

“Thank you,” Ellie says, at last.

“Don’t thank me, that girl will never trust your taste in movies now,” Joel says.

Ellie looks away.

“You find someone who treats you right and makes you happy. That’s all I care about,” Joel says, putting an arm on her shoulder.

“You too,” Ellie challenges. _It can’t all be for me,_ she thinks. _It can’t all just be for me._

“I’m too old and grizzled lo—'

“—Oh yeah, like Abigail doesn’t give you an extra pound of flour every time, and Hannah—”

“—You keep talking and I won’t help you with that B major chord you’re struggling with,” Joel threatens, but he’s already going upstairs to fetch his guitar.

As Ellie’s hands glide across the strings, she thinks of Joel’s sturdy presence and Cat’s lips and the moth on her arm and the generators powering the town and the gates and then breathes, just a little bit easier.

**Author's Note:**

> Written five hours into TLOU2 while having a lot of Ellie feelings.


End file.
